What is a disciple?
The Greek word mathetes means someone who is a pupil, an apprentice. In the days of Jesus, a disciple was anyone who attached himself to a great master. The master, typically a philosopher or religious leader, initiated a process with his disciples in which he modeled a pattern of life which his disciples emulated and taught a philosophy to explain that pattern which his disciples learned and believed. When they were ready, they in turn would become masters and would adopt disciples of their own. The aim of this process was to shape disciples into the kind of people whose lives would be an extension of their master's life.
In New Testament terms, a disciple is someone who's an apprentice of Jesus and the goal of Christian apprenticeship is to learn to live like the master, to learn to live like Jesus.
Why do we need to be disciples and disciple makers?
Because Jesus commands it! After his resurrection and just before his ascension into heaven, Jesus sends his disciples on a mission that continues to this day: "Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:18-20).
Notice five things about Jesus statements. First, the Father has given Jesus all authority in heaven and earth. With such authority he can make certain demands of his disciples. With such authority he can send them on a mission to accomplish goals he has chosen, and he can choose the target group which in this case is the whole world, not just to the chosen people of Israel. Jesus' disciples were men and women who wanted to do God's will and they needed the assurance of Jesus that what he was commanding them to do was in line with God's will. Their standing before God and their eternal destiny depended on him having the authority from God to demand that they do these things and not something else.
Second, make new apprentices for Jesus from every people group. It took the disciples a while to figure some of this out or even to accept its implications. In the New Testament God usually doesn't act aggressively, but in this case he does and in a short time the gospel has spread throughout much of the Roman Empire and beyond. When Saul initiates his persecution of the church, Philip goes to a city in Samaria to preach the gospel to the Samaritans. The people are receptive but then God sends Philip to Gaza to speak with an Ethiopian eunuch. He shows Peter a vision and issues a call to preach the gospel to Cornelius, a Gentile. He gives Paul a vision in which someone calls him to Macedonia. Even then, Acts 15 shows us that it was a struggle for the early church to understand what Jesus was really saying. Most of them seemed to think Jesus was calling them to make disciples of Jews in all of the nations. When it became clear that Jesus wanted Gentiles to become his disciples as well, they thought he was calling them to make Gentiles into Jews. Paul was one of the few early disciples who seemed to understand what Jesus was getting at. Many of his letters, including Romans, focus on what the New Covenant really is and whether or not the Jews play a unique role in it.
Third, initiate them into their new way of life through baptism. Is baptism the act of initiation into discipleship or is it a symbol of that initiation? After so many years of wrangling about issues like this, it's safe to say that we'll never come to a definitive solution that everyone can agree on, but let's also admit the importance of baptism for anyone who wants to be a disciple of Jesus. What form should baptism take? Again, let's admit that a single solution isn't possible so why not embrace different forms of baptism as real possibilities? Whatever one's understanding of baptism and what form it should take, the important thing is that Jesus commands us to do it. The life before baptism has been set aside and a new life as a disciple of Jesus has now begun. The form that baptism takes is secondary to the name in which the act is done. Maybe being baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit functions as a type of covenant formula and demonstrates who the disciple has entered into covenant with.
Fourth, teach them to obey everything Jesus has commanded you both through his words and through his life (implied). Disciple them the way that Jesus has discipled you. It's important to remember that not even Jesus could guide his followers into his pattern of life through words alone. He had many followers who heard his teaching, but he chose only 12 to live with him. Those who embodied his life most fully were those who had lived most closely with him.
Fifth, Jesus, the great master, will accompany his disciples wherever they may go. He is present in every age with his disciples, both through his presence in scripture as well as in spirit.
How do we define discipleship? What does a disciple look like?
The meaning of Jesus' commission in Matthew 28 is founded on the life and teaching of Jesus as presented in the rest of Matthew's gospel. There are several blocks of teaching scattered throughout the book that directly address what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, especially Matthew 5-7 (Sermon on the Mount) and Matthew 25 (Sheep and Goats). Neither passage gives an exhaustive portrait of a disciple, but if you understand what is included, if you understand his brief sketch of what a disciple should be, you'll figure out what Jesus wants you to be in every other area of life that he doesn't specifically mention in these two passages. For a brief look at Matthew 5-7, please take a look at my "Jesus' Vision of the Kingdom" on this website.
If Jesus' goal is to make disciples, and if he devoted most of his energies to making disciples, and if discipleship looks anything like what we see in Matthew chapters 5 to 7 and chapter 25, then the gospel isn't just about the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. All of Matthew, all of Mark, all of Luke, and all of John are "gospels" and not just the last few chapters. Why do we give so little attention to Jesus' disciple making as part of the gospel? Why are we so fixated on getting saved, as if Jesus' only goal was for us to go to heaven instead of hell? Why do the Apostles' Creed and the Nicene Creed go directly from Jesus being born of a virgin to his death under Pontius Pilate and mention absolutely nothing about his life and teaching? Is there anything about his life and teaching that might be important for us to affirm? These are important questions that will be taken up in other articles on this site. I think the important point to emphasize here is that when a person gets saved, they've been initiated into the life of a disciple. Disciples are citizens of the Kingdom of God and are commissioned by Jesus to advance the Kingdom through both their lives and their ministry to others. They aren't only going to heaven; they're bringing heaven to earth.
How should we make disciples?
Here are some assumptions I'm making when answering this question. First, discipleship is a process. The notion of process implies a fundamental instability that allows for growth and success as well as disappointment and failure. Jesus sets forth goals that may or may not be reached. If success in growth is possible, then failure to grow must be its shadow companion. If discipleship is a process, then progress toward those goals is circuitous. We're referring to this circuitous nature of discipleship when we describe it as "three steps forward, two steps back," but it's also possible at any given point in the process for us to experience something like "two steps forward, ten steps back." If discipleship is a process, then it will be uneven in its effects. At any given point along the process, some aspects of our lives will be more in line and some less in line with the life of Jesus.
Second, discipleship is a collaborative effort. It includes the inputs of many people. For instance, it includes other disciples in my church, disciples from other churches, disciples I knew 20 years ago and disciples I won't meet for another 20 years, and disciples I will never meet but whose writings or videos instruct and inspire me. Collaboration is important for many reasons. One of the most important is our inability to adequately assess our own lives and where we are at in the discipleship process. Socrates may have said "Know thyself," but Christian discipleship acknowledges this isn't possible without the input of the community since our self knowledge is so faulty. When Paul gives Timothy and Titus instructions for identifying and appointing spiritual leaders in the church (I Tim. 3 and Titus 1), he tells them to look for people who have an intense desire to become spiritual leaders and who also possess a mix of essential skills and character qualities (again, the list is suggestive rather than exhaustive). These are the marks of a mature disciple and Paul wants mature disciples leading the church. What's not stated in the text but is implied is that mature disciples like Timothy and Titus are to determine to what degree people in their congregations meet these criteria, whether or not they also are mature disciples. So they wouldn't trust the candidate's judgment on whether or not he was an angry person, whether or not he could teach, whether or not he managed his household well, because the candidate couldn't adequately assess such things by himself. He would need the input of other mature disciples.
Third, discipleship is intense. Although discipleship is a collaborative effort involving many people, the intensity of a mentoring relationship is necessary for more significant transformation to take place in our lives. Without adequate intensity, spiritual growth won't take place. There may be growth in knowledge of the faith, in commitment to the ideas of the faith, in its ideology, but the character of a person will be almost unchanged if discipleship isn't intense enough. This is one reason why spiritual growth doesn't happen much if a person only attends services on Sunday morning. The Sunday morning service is important, but it can't carry the entire weight of discipleship on its shoulders. Jesus certainly didn't employ that strategy when he was making disciples.
Fourth, discipleship leads to spiritual growth for both the mentor and the disciple. If this is true, then any disciple's spiritual growth will be accelerated through mentoring other disciples. Growth will also take place in different areas of my life than would happen if I cloistered myself away to concentrate on my own development.
Finally, discipleship faces many challenges, all of which a disciple must learn to negotiate well. Learning to negotiate these well is one of the most important sources of spiritual growth as a disciple. As I like to say, if we're going to become mature disciples of Jesus, we must learn to do so under less than ideal circumstances. First, we have to deal with ourselves ("the flesh"): our strengths and weaknesses, our ignorance, our prejudices, our physical challenges, our addictions, and our successes and failures. We must learn to deal with who we are at the moment we become a disciple of Jesus and what spiritual growth looks like for us from that starting point. Second, we have to deal with other people. They may be supportive or critical, resistant or helpful, mocking or encouraging. Discipleship can be especially challenging when we begin the process without the support of those we love the most such as our parents or our spouse. Third, we have to deal with culture, "the world" system as John would put it. Culture is important to all of us, and most of us find it difficult over the long term to be out of step in major ways with the world system that surrounds us and in many ways is embodied in us. Fourth, we have to deal with the devil and other powerful spiritual forces arrayed against us. Fifth, we have to deal with the "curse" that God has placed on the world. Sixth, we have to deal with God's chastening and his testing.
The components of discipleship
Over the years I've tried to think through how discipleship works, especially when it's working well. This isn't just theoretical. I've worked through these ideas with many people I've discipled. I've made plenty of mistakes and have tried to learn from them. In reflecting on my experience, I've distilled a few things from these discipling situations that I'm sharing below. I'm not trying to describe a detailed program that everyone should use in every situation. A wise, mature mentor will need to be more flexible than that since their approach will need to be shaped by the person they're mentoring. I also realize I'm thinking about these things from a cultural perspective that's not shared by everyone. How could I describe a universal discipleship program that would be as effective in Zaire as it was in Xenia, Ohio? But here are some things I've noticed through my own study and experience. Maybe they'll be helpful to you.
1. Embodiment
Embodiment is the goal of discipleship, learning to incarnate the life of Jesus. Through the process of discipleship, we become the kind of person who can put into practice the Sermon on the Mount. Our goal should be to embody as fully as possible the life and teachings of Jesus. Only then will we have the right to be called "Christians" or "little Christs."
Hypocrisy is the antithesis of embodiment. The word translated "hypocrite" refers to an actor, a person who pretends to be someone other than themselves while on stage. Jesus warns his disciples not to be like a stage actor, playing a part on one stage and playing quite a different part on another stage. For example, someone might play the part of the empathetic man, the compassionate man, while at church, but play the part of the shark while at work, looking for something weak and helpless to eat. It's also hypocrisy to merely mimic the words and actions of Jesus in some literalistic way without having the spirit of Jesus to give it life. Paul put his finger on it in 1 Cor. 13 when he says love is the inward disposition, the "heart," that makes all of these attitudes and actions an extension of the life of Jesus and keeps them from being meaningless.
2. Resonance
Resonance is the first step in establishing a discipling relationship. It's what happened between Jesus and his disciples and it's what didn't happen between Jesus and most of the Pharisees and Sadducees. Resonance is necessary in order for two people to come together in a discipling relationship. It's something that reverberates from one person to another that creates a mutual attraction. When a mature disciple embodies the life of Jesus, it becomes attractive to other disciples. Call it authenticity, genuineness, beauty, or love; it makes some people want to be with you, even to be like you. On the mentor's part, resonance creates a desire to be with the apprentice and to do everything within their power to help them grow in their spiritual character. On the apprentice's side, resonance makes them responsive to mentoring, to engage it adequately and to persevere in it. The absence of resonance is the flaw in most formal discipleship programs that attempt to pair up everyone in the church all at once. Mentors may be assigned certain people to disciple without adequate thought about whether either one resonates with the other in any way. Resonance between the two is absolutely essential for disciples to care about entering into this process with enthusiasm and for mentors to desire to do everything possible to help their disciples to grow.
3. Modeling
When two people have begun a mentoring relationship, the mentor is the one who should embody more fully the life of Jesus and should in turn help the apprentice to embody the life of Jesus in a similar way. This includes serving as a model for others to follow ("follow my example as I follow the example of Christ," 1 Cor. 11:1), and as an inspiration. For modeling to do its deep work, time must be spent together and a close relationship with the other person must be developed. Inspiration helps a person care enough to engage in the process and to maintain their momentum through numerous challenges.
4. Emulation
The apprentice who wants to embody the life of Jesus more fully must be in relationship with someone else who is a more mature disciple, one who more fully embodies the life of Jesus. Students learn to emulate the life of their mentors and through them the life of Jesus. Again, the goal is not to learn to mimic the exact words and actions of Jesus but to become like him in our hearts which will then express itself through our actions.
Three examples of mentoring
1. Parents and children
The most basic discipling relationship that adult Christians have is with their children. Mentoring them so they learn how to live like Jesus is our greatest responsibility. The first step in mentoring our children is developing good relationships with them. When our daughters were in elementary school, we went to a school function in which a clinical psychologist told us that even though we were all so busy, it was vital to our child's well being that we spend quality time with them. As an example, she said that before each of her children went to sleep, she sat on their bed and spent 5 minutes focusing just on them. 5 minutes. Sorry, but that's not enough time to build a relationship. One of my favorite moments from the film American Beauty is near the beginning when Kevin Spacey's family is sitting down for dinner. His daughter mentions something and Kevin gives his daughter some really wise, heartfelt advice. Only problem is, she isn't listening. It has no impact. Why not? They have no relationship. He never took the time to develop one so he has no way to reach her, even though she needs help and his ideas are sound. I like to say "if you can talk to her about Barbie when she's six, you can talk to her about Ken when she's sixteen." So take your parenting seriously as one of the greatest responsibilities and one of the greatest opportunities you'll ever have to impact the world. Really live with your children and let them see the life of Jesus in you. Hold out your hand to them and invite them to walk the narrow path together.
2. Mentoring disciples one on one
When I was working at International College and Graduate School, a Bible college and seminary in Honolulu, for many years I met once a week with a sequence of young men with whom I had a mentoring relationship. We would typically begin with some activity they were interested in (playing tennis, going out to dinner, watching a movie, etc.) and then talking afterward. We would talk about their week and use scripture to gain perspective, direction, and inspiration. It seems that many people believe discipleship should be a form of Bible study and prayer. I disagree. Discipling should include these, but its focus shouldn't be on just study and prayer. Discipleship needs to happen in the context of a whole life, not just those moments when we focus on God.
When I was pastoring Kailua Baptist Church, I began meeting with different people throughout the week to establish mentoring relationships. I only met with people when I felt that we resonated with each other in some way. There were plenty of people who didn't find me their "cup of tea" so I encouraged them to find someone else they resonated with (looked up to, admired, etc.). When we met, I'd ask them first for "reports from the field," stories about what they'd done to share Jesus' love with people around them by simply serving them. I remember one of the men telling me about helping people in his apartment complex. One was a single mother with boys (10 and 12) who was working full time and going to college part time. He volunteered to cook meals for her a few times a week, to help her boys with their homework a few times a week, and driving them to school. He was helping another young woman in her 20's who was trying to attend college and get her head together. I remember meeting her and she told me what it was like getting herself ready for elementary school every morning and picking her way through the living room where her parents and other adults were passed out on the floor after the party the night before. He was also befriending a group of teenage boys who met together most nights to sing songs they'd written. He told me they were great musicians but the songs they sang were the most perverted you could imagine. He learned to love these young men and how to share the life of Jesus with them. I would encourage people like this in their service and help them do it with greater joy and insight through considering the Bible's teaching as it related to their work.
3. Intentional community
When I was still pastoring at Kailua Baptist Church, I began to think and pray about another way of carrying out Jesus' mission to make disciples. It was at this time that I ran into Christine Pohl's book Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition. My wife and I read the book together and prayed after each chapter. The book's focus was more on institutional expressions of hospitality, but it inspired us to practice hospitality in our own home. Since the fall of 2008 we've had many young adults, almost all in their 20's or 30's, who've lived with us. Usually they stay with us for at least a year before moving on. I get a chance to develop close relationships with them and through those relationships I can speak into their lives in deep ways. Ministry takes place daily in the context of life.
Discipleship and Sin (Still at work on this section)
A. Discipleship should lead to transformation, not just sin management.
1. Trying to teach people not to sin is like teaching a baseball player how to hit by teaching him how not to strike out. What are we really teaching people when we try to teach them how not to do something?
2. I've seen people's lives transformed more from teaching them how to live like Jesus than teaching them how not to sin.
3. Perfection (Matthew 5:48 "Be perfect… as your heavenly Father is perfect."). Perfection is maturity, growing up into everything God designed us to be. Jesus is our role model for this.
B. Understanding the role of failure in the process of discipleship.
C. Understanding the role of church discipline in the process of discipleship.
Further Reading:
1. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship. London: SCM Press, 1959. (A profound meditation on discipleship in the church that uses the Sermon on the Mount as inspiration.)
2. Christine D. Pohl, Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition. Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1999. (Book that inspired us to begin an intentional community in our home.)
3. Michael Wilkins, Following the Master. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1992. (Best overview of discipleship in the early church.)
4. Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God. New York, NY: HarperCollins, 1997. (Insightful discussion of the Sermon on the Mount, especially as the model for discipleship.)
The Greek word mathetes means someone who is a pupil, an apprentice. In the days of Jesus, a disciple was anyone who attached himself to a great master. The master, typically a philosopher or religious leader, initiated a process with his disciples in which he modeled a pattern of life which his disciples emulated and taught a philosophy to explain that pattern which his disciples learned and believed. When they were ready, they in turn would become masters and would adopt disciples of their own. The aim of this process was to shape disciples into the kind of people whose lives would be an extension of their master's life.
In New Testament terms, a disciple is someone who's an apprentice of Jesus and the goal of Christian apprenticeship is to learn to live like the master, to learn to live like Jesus.
Why do we need to be disciples and disciple makers?
Because Jesus commands it! After his resurrection and just before his ascension into heaven, Jesus sends his disciples on a mission that continues to this day: "Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:18-20).
Notice five things about Jesus statements. First, the Father has given Jesus all authority in heaven and earth. With such authority he can make certain demands of his disciples. With such authority he can send them on a mission to accomplish goals he has chosen, and he can choose the target group which in this case is the whole world, not just to the chosen people of Israel. Jesus' disciples were men and women who wanted to do God's will and they needed the assurance of Jesus that what he was commanding them to do was in line with God's will. Their standing before God and their eternal destiny depended on him having the authority from God to demand that they do these things and not something else.
Second, make new apprentices for Jesus from every people group. It took the disciples a while to figure some of this out or even to accept its implications. In the New Testament God usually doesn't act aggressively, but in this case he does and in a short time the gospel has spread throughout much of the Roman Empire and beyond. When Saul initiates his persecution of the church, Philip goes to a city in Samaria to preach the gospel to the Samaritans. The people are receptive but then God sends Philip to Gaza to speak with an Ethiopian eunuch. He shows Peter a vision and issues a call to preach the gospel to Cornelius, a Gentile. He gives Paul a vision in which someone calls him to Macedonia. Even then, Acts 15 shows us that it was a struggle for the early church to understand what Jesus was really saying. Most of them seemed to think Jesus was calling them to make disciples of Jews in all of the nations. When it became clear that Jesus wanted Gentiles to become his disciples as well, they thought he was calling them to make Gentiles into Jews. Paul was one of the few early disciples who seemed to understand what Jesus was getting at. Many of his letters, including Romans, focus on what the New Covenant really is and whether or not the Jews play a unique role in it.
Third, initiate them into their new way of life through baptism. Is baptism the act of initiation into discipleship or is it a symbol of that initiation? After so many years of wrangling about issues like this, it's safe to say that we'll never come to a definitive solution that everyone can agree on, but let's also admit the importance of baptism for anyone who wants to be a disciple of Jesus. What form should baptism take? Again, let's admit that a single solution isn't possible so why not embrace different forms of baptism as real possibilities? Whatever one's understanding of baptism and what form it should take, the important thing is that Jesus commands us to do it. The life before baptism has been set aside and a new life as a disciple of Jesus has now begun. The form that baptism takes is secondary to the name in which the act is done. Maybe being baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit functions as a type of covenant formula and demonstrates who the disciple has entered into covenant with.
Fourth, teach them to obey everything Jesus has commanded you both through his words and through his life (implied). Disciple them the way that Jesus has discipled you. It's important to remember that not even Jesus could guide his followers into his pattern of life through words alone. He had many followers who heard his teaching, but he chose only 12 to live with him. Those who embodied his life most fully were those who had lived most closely with him.
Fifth, Jesus, the great master, will accompany his disciples wherever they may go. He is present in every age with his disciples, both through his presence in scripture as well as in spirit.
How do we define discipleship? What does a disciple look like?
The meaning of Jesus' commission in Matthew 28 is founded on the life and teaching of Jesus as presented in the rest of Matthew's gospel. There are several blocks of teaching scattered throughout the book that directly address what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, especially Matthew 5-7 (Sermon on the Mount) and Matthew 25 (Sheep and Goats). Neither passage gives an exhaustive portrait of a disciple, but if you understand what is included, if you understand his brief sketch of what a disciple should be, you'll figure out what Jesus wants you to be in every other area of life that he doesn't specifically mention in these two passages. For a brief look at Matthew 5-7, please take a look at my "Jesus' Vision of the Kingdom" on this website.
If Jesus' goal is to make disciples, and if he devoted most of his energies to making disciples, and if discipleship looks anything like what we see in Matthew chapters 5 to 7 and chapter 25, then the gospel isn't just about the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. All of Matthew, all of Mark, all of Luke, and all of John are "gospels" and not just the last few chapters. Why do we give so little attention to Jesus' disciple making as part of the gospel? Why are we so fixated on getting saved, as if Jesus' only goal was for us to go to heaven instead of hell? Why do the Apostles' Creed and the Nicene Creed go directly from Jesus being born of a virgin to his death under Pontius Pilate and mention absolutely nothing about his life and teaching? Is there anything about his life and teaching that might be important for us to affirm? These are important questions that will be taken up in other articles on this site. I think the important point to emphasize here is that when a person gets saved, they've been initiated into the life of a disciple. Disciples are citizens of the Kingdom of God and are commissioned by Jesus to advance the Kingdom through both their lives and their ministry to others. They aren't only going to heaven; they're bringing heaven to earth.
How should we make disciples?
Here are some assumptions I'm making when answering this question. First, discipleship is a process. The notion of process implies a fundamental instability that allows for growth and success as well as disappointment and failure. Jesus sets forth goals that may or may not be reached. If success in growth is possible, then failure to grow must be its shadow companion. If discipleship is a process, then progress toward those goals is circuitous. We're referring to this circuitous nature of discipleship when we describe it as "three steps forward, two steps back," but it's also possible at any given point in the process for us to experience something like "two steps forward, ten steps back." If discipleship is a process, then it will be uneven in its effects. At any given point along the process, some aspects of our lives will be more in line and some less in line with the life of Jesus.
Second, discipleship is a collaborative effort. It includes the inputs of many people. For instance, it includes other disciples in my church, disciples from other churches, disciples I knew 20 years ago and disciples I won't meet for another 20 years, and disciples I will never meet but whose writings or videos instruct and inspire me. Collaboration is important for many reasons. One of the most important is our inability to adequately assess our own lives and where we are at in the discipleship process. Socrates may have said "Know thyself," but Christian discipleship acknowledges this isn't possible without the input of the community since our self knowledge is so faulty. When Paul gives Timothy and Titus instructions for identifying and appointing spiritual leaders in the church (I Tim. 3 and Titus 1), he tells them to look for people who have an intense desire to become spiritual leaders and who also possess a mix of essential skills and character qualities (again, the list is suggestive rather than exhaustive). These are the marks of a mature disciple and Paul wants mature disciples leading the church. What's not stated in the text but is implied is that mature disciples like Timothy and Titus are to determine to what degree people in their congregations meet these criteria, whether or not they also are mature disciples. So they wouldn't trust the candidate's judgment on whether or not he was an angry person, whether or not he could teach, whether or not he managed his household well, because the candidate couldn't adequately assess such things by himself. He would need the input of other mature disciples.
Third, discipleship is intense. Although discipleship is a collaborative effort involving many people, the intensity of a mentoring relationship is necessary for more significant transformation to take place in our lives. Without adequate intensity, spiritual growth won't take place. There may be growth in knowledge of the faith, in commitment to the ideas of the faith, in its ideology, but the character of a person will be almost unchanged if discipleship isn't intense enough. This is one reason why spiritual growth doesn't happen much if a person only attends services on Sunday morning. The Sunday morning service is important, but it can't carry the entire weight of discipleship on its shoulders. Jesus certainly didn't employ that strategy when he was making disciples.
Fourth, discipleship leads to spiritual growth for both the mentor and the disciple. If this is true, then any disciple's spiritual growth will be accelerated through mentoring other disciples. Growth will also take place in different areas of my life than would happen if I cloistered myself away to concentrate on my own development.
Finally, discipleship faces many challenges, all of which a disciple must learn to negotiate well. Learning to negotiate these well is one of the most important sources of spiritual growth as a disciple. As I like to say, if we're going to become mature disciples of Jesus, we must learn to do so under less than ideal circumstances. First, we have to deal with ourselves ("the flesh"): our strengths and weaknesses, our ignorance, our prejudices, our physical challenges, our addictions, and our successes and failures. We must learn to deal with who we are at the moment we become a disciple of Jesus and what spiritual growth looks like for us from that starting point. Second, we have to deal with other people. They may be supportive or critical, resistant or helpful, mocking or encouraging. Discipleship can be especially challenging when we begin the process without the support of those we love the most such as our parents or our spouse. Third, we have to deal with culture, "the world" system as John would put it. Culture is important to all of us, and most of us find it difficult over the long term to be out of step in major ways with the world system that surrounds us and in many ways is embodied in us. Fourth, we have to deal with the devil and other powerful spiritual forces arrayed against us. Fifth, we have to deal with the "curse" that God has placed on the world. Sixth, we have to deal with God's chastening and his testing.
The components of discipleship
Over the years I've tried to think through how discipleship works, especially when it's working well. This isn't just theoretical. I've worked through these ideas with many people I've discipled. I've made plenty of mistakes and have tried to learn from them. In reflecting on my experience, I've distilled a few things from these discipling situations that I'm sharing below. I'm not trying to describe a detailed program that everyone should use in every situation. A wise, mature mentor will need to be more flexible than that since their approach will need to be shaped by the person they're mentoring. I also realize I'm thinking about these things from a cultural perspective that's not shared by everyone. How could I describe a universal discipleship program that would be as effective in Zaire as it was in Xenia, Ohio? But here are some things I've noticed through my own study and experience. Maybe they'll be helpful to you.
1. Embodiment
Embodiment is the goal of discipleship, learning to incarnate the life of Jesus. Through the process of discipleship, we become the kind of person who can put into practice the Sermon on the Mount. Our goal should be to embody as fully as possible the life and teachings of Jesus. Only then will we have the right to be called "Christians" or "little Christs."
Hypocrisy is the antithesis of embodiment. The word translated "hypocrite" refers to an actor, a person who pretends to be someone other than themselves while on stage. Jesus warns his disciples not to be like a stage actor, playing a part on one stage and playing quite a different part on another stage. For example, someone might play the part of the empathetic man, the compassionate man, while at church, but play the part of the shark while at work, looking for something weak and helpless to eat. It's also hypocrisy to merely mimic the words and actions of Jesus in some literalistic way without having the spirit of Jesus to give it life. Paul put his finger on it in 1 Cor. 13 when he says love is the inward disposition, the "heart," that makes all of these attitudes and actions an extension of the life of Jesus and keeps them from being meaningless.
2. Resonance
Resonance is the first step in establishing a discipling relationship. It's what happened between Jesus and his disciples and it's what didn't happen between Jesus and most of the Pharisees and Sadducees. Resonance is necessary in order for two people to come together in a discipling relationship. It's something that reverberates from one person to another that creates a mutual attraction. When a mature disciple embodies the life of Jesus, it becomes attractive to other disciples. Call it authenticity, genuineness, beauty, or love; it makes some people want to be with you, even to be like you. On the mentor's part, resonance creates a desire to be with the apprentice and to do everything within their power to help them grow in their spiritual character. On the apprentice's side, resonance makes them responsive to mentoring, to engage it adequately and to persevere in it. The absence of resonance is the flaw in most formal discipleship programs that attempt to pair up everyone in the church all at once. Mentors may be assigned certain people to disciple without adequate thought about whether either one resonates with the other in any way. Resonance between the two is absolutely essential for disciples to care about entering into this process with enthusiasm and for mentors to desire to do everything possible to help their disciples to grow.
3. Modeling
When two people have begun a mentoring relationship, the mentor is the one who should embody more fully the life of Jesus and should in turn help the apprentice to embody the life of Jesus in a similar way. This includes serving as a model for others to follow ("follow my example as I follow the example of Christ," 1 Cor. 11:1), and as an inspiration. For modeling to do its deep work, time must be spent together and a close relationship with the other person must be developed. Inspiration helps a person care enough to engage in the process and to maintain their momentum through numerous challenges.
4. Emulation
The apprentice who wants to embody the life of Jesus more fully must be in relationship with someone else who is a more mature disciple, one who more fully embodies the life of Jesus. Students learn to emulate the life of their mentors and through them the life of Jesus. Again, the goal is not to learn to mimic the exact words and actions of Jesus but to become like him in our hearts which will then express itself through our actions.
Three examples of mentoring
1. Parents and children
The most basic discipling relationship that adult Christians have is with their children. Mentoring them so they learn how to live like Jesus is our greatest responsibility. The first step in mentoring our children is developing good relationships with them. When our daughters were in elementary school, we went to a school function in which a clinical psychologist told us that even though we were all so busy, it was vital to our child's well being that we spend quality time with them. As an example, she said that before each of her children went to sleep, she sat on their bed and spent 5 minutes focusing just on them. 5 minutes. Sorry, but that's not enough time to build a relationship. One of my favorite moments from the film American Beauty is near the beginning when Kevin Spacey's family is sitting down for dinner. His daughter mentions something and Kevin gives his daughter some really wise, heartfelt advice. Only problem is, she isn't listening. It has no impact. Why not? They have no relationship. He never took the time to develop one so he has no way to reach her, even though she needs help and his ideas are sound. I like to say "if you can talk to her about Barbie when she's six, you can talk to her about Ken when she's sixteen." So take your parenting seriously as one of the greatest responsibilities and one of the greatest opportunities you'll ever have to impact the world. Really live with your children and let them see the life of Jesus in you. Hold out your hand to them and invite them to walk the narrow path together.
2. Mentoring disciples one on one
When I was working at International College and Graduate School, a Bible college and seminary in Honolulu, for many years I met once a week with a sequence of young men with whom I had a mentoring relationship. We would typically begin with some activity they were interested in (playing tennis, going out to dinner, watching a movie, etc.) and then talking afterward. We would talk about their week and use scripture to gain perspective, direction, and inspiration. It seems that many people believe discipleship should be a form of Bible study and prayer. I disagree. Discipling should include these, but its focus shouldn't be on just study and prayer. Discipleship needs to happen in the context of a whole life, not just those moments when we focus on God.
When I was pastoring Kailua Baptist Church, I began meeting with different people throughout the week to establish mentoring relationships. I only met with people when I felt that we resonated with each other in some way. There were plenty of people who didn't find me their "cup of tea" so I encouraged them to find someone else they resonated with (looked up to, admired, etc.). When we met, I'd ask them first for "reports from the field," stories about what they'd done to share Jesus' love with people around them by simply serving them. I remember one of the men telling me about helping people in his apartment complex. One was a single mother with boys (10 and 12) who was working full time and going to college part time. He volunteered to cook meals for her a few times a week, to help her boys with their homework a few times a week, and driving them to school. He was helping another young woman in her 20's who was trying to attend college and get her head together. I remember meeting her and she told me what it was like getting herself ready for elementary school every morning and picking her way through the living room where her parents and other adults were passed out on the floor after the party the night before. He was also befriending a group of teenage boys who met together most nights to sing songs they'd written. He told me they were great musicians but the songs they sang were the most perverted you could imagine. He learned to love these young men and how to share the life of Jesus with them. I would encourage people like this in their service and help them do it with greater joy and insight through considering the Bible's teaching as it related to their work.
3. Intentional community
When I was still pastoring at Kailua Baptist Church, I began to think and pray about another way of carrying out Jesus' mission to make disciples. It was at this time that I ran into Christine Pohl's book Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition. My wife and I read the book together and prayed after each chapter. The book's focus was more on institutional expressions of hospitality, but it inspired us to practice hospitality in our own home. Since the fall of 2008 we've had many young adults, almost all in their 20's or 30's, who've lived with us. Usually they stay with us for at least a year before moving on. I get a chance to develop close relationships with them and through those relationships I can speak into their lives in deep ways. Ministry takes place daily in the context of life.
Discipleship and Sin (Still at work on this section)
A. Discipleship should lead to transformation, not just sin management.
1. Trying to teach people not to sin is like teaching a baseball player how to hit by teaching him how not to strike out. What are we really teaching people when we try to teach them how not to do something?
2. I've seen people's lives transformed more from teaching them how to live like Jesus than teaching them how not to sin.
3. Perfection (Matthew 5:48 "Be perfect… as your heavenly Father is perfect."). Perfection is maturity, growing up into everything God designed us to be. Jesus is our role model for this.
B. Understanding the role of failure in the process of discipleship.
C. Understanding the role of church discipline in the process of discipleship.
Further Reading:
1. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship. London: SCM Press, 1959. (A profound meditation on discipleship in the church that uses the Sermon on the Mount as inspiration.)
2. Christine D. Pohl, Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition. Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1999. (Book that inspired us to begin an intentional community in our home.)
3. Michael Wilkins, Following the Master. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1992. (Best overview of discipleship in the early church.)
4. Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God. New York, NY: HarperCollins, 1997. (Insightful discussion of the Sermon on the Mount, especially as the model for discipleship.)
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